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    Let's homo and see if we have homo interests. Day 2 Okehampton to Yatton Around Hereford we came across the most awful red Homo that was really draggy.

    Lamby is now Manx Flag red on the Dulux colour chart. Day 4 Coalport — Arnside miles, 4, ft climbing A sunny morning today was going to be a hot one. After getting the lathrron out from the overnight storage we then helped an Australian get her bike out, she was doing a solo tour of England, Wales and Ireland. Within seconds of departing we had lztheron feckin big hill straight away which we all loved. After about two miles we were lost, luckily an elderly gentleman on a bike led us to the entrance of the concealed cycle path we were looking for. Once on this path it was fairly straightforward only taking one wrong turn that led to a bit of cyclocross.

    An elderly church goer was getting out of her car showing a lot of leg, once out of the car she deliberately raised her skirt to flash a bit more, she was about to take her teeth out for some action when the church bell rang for mass. Further on another road closed sign, we decided to gamble as the diversion would have added miles, the surface was quite rough. Neil decided to use the other side of the road as it was a smoother surface…. Things took a strange turn at the next food stop.

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    Woody was having trouble with saddle soreness, most would use chafe cream or double pad up, not Woody. Dinner was sat at the roadside across patheron a petrol station, the lady working there was amazed we stopped there Slluts a few hundred yards down the road was a scenic picture area. The support crew had done us proud again with a good layheron of food, savouries seem to be the flavour of the day as well as Cats lemon drizzle cake. Warrington was a bit of a nightmare mainly due to the large volume of traffic, Nikki got some dogshit on her shoe, Caroline went beyond the call of duty and cleaned it Slyts for her….

    Once lwtheron Warrington the Sluts in latheron got better, the birds seemed happier the grass greener, it could only mean one thing we were in Lancashire, home of the Parch pea, The Butter Pie, Black pudding Sluta Craig Hindle. Latheorn led the group through Sluts in latheron my SSluts town knowing lathsron few short cuts, jn knowledge goes a long way going through towns as we S,uts later. There were two plans for todays stage; 1. To stop at Garstang for tea, drive to the nights accommodation drive back to Garstang in the morning to start again, this would have meant loading all the bikes in the van. Stop for tea at Garstang and ride another 30 miles to the accommodation. This proved the correct option, despite getting a bit lost, a local workman ripped a page out of his A to Z atlas to help us Lancashire one of the friendliest places About 20 minutes before the end the heavens opened, horizontal rain and another really steep hill to get to the YHA, we arrived drenched but still in good humour, happy in the knowledge that if we had stopped at Garstang we would have had at least two hours riding in torrential rain….

    The pipe lagging is just about understandable whilst riding but there was no need to have it down there in the evening, though he did get a bigger portion from the young waitress. Day 5 Arnside — Gretna Green Once Woody had his lagging pipe in place and took his Co-codamol to ease his ankle pain though not his movements we were off. Conditions were a little cooler but we knew it was going to get warm pretty soon as there was a 1 in 7 climb to do virtually straight away. A strange rumbling could be heard at first, we thought it was some farm machinery turns out it was Gru, he enjoyed his breakfast so much he wanted to see it again throwing it up.

    Just before Kendal a confused motorist came round the roundabout the wrong way which makes you question if you are going the right way. At Penrith Nikki arranged to meet two friends Claire and Ted for a brew. Woody was immediately infatuated with a soft touch of tender hands over his sore ankle and caressing his calf he was in ecstasy…. Ted being a Physio had Woody like new, the transformation was Lazarus like…. The road from Penrith to Carlisle was just like a massive switch back, big rollers but into a headwind. Going through Carlisle was pretty straight forward till we hit a massive roundabout where we got separated.

    Nikki and Pete went one way while the rest of us layheron our options. I saw one of those brown tourist signs directing you to Gretna Green, our destination and lahteron off whilst the rest waited…. Luckily only Sarah and Nikki saw the incident, once they lafheron laughing they treated my wounds before telling the rest ih the crew…sniggering. Once in the hotel after another cold bath, I was treated to a surprise birthday party with cake, candles and pressies……. Katheron 6 Gretna Green — Perth Once on our way we were making good time, Cam again regularly attacking Sljts the front before reigning himself in.

    Unfortunately part of the road had just been re-chipped, lathedon limit 20mph for traffic, as the the traffic mainly lorries went past at 50 mph spitting chips at us and with the headwind creating a dust cloud…. At the next roundabout unsure of which way Gru led the way……. Gru taking a turning off the roundabout was followed by a car flashing its indicators and honking its horn, clearly trying to tell us we were going the wrong way, towards the motorway…. Luckily the angry Scotsman drove off avoiding a diplomatic incident between the Celtic nations. Analysing the situation at the next snack break. Gru was still spitting feathers while we all pissed ourselves. Grannies ready married and horney let me blow your black cock.

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